Show Us Dem Aliens
Am I an alien fanatic because of my love for the Alien franchise? No. Am I an alien fanatic because of my new green alien socks? Not in the slightest. Am I an alien fanatic because I planned to enter the most top-secret military research facility in the world, illegally, to see something that we have little to no real evidence of its existence? Perhaps.
Recently, a planned raid on America’s Area 51 had the U.S. Government on edge and the sales of cheap alien-themed T-shirts at an all-time high. The outcome was one of humanities greatest anti-climaxes so far. There were no aliens, UFO’s or vaporisations along with the minute number of edgy, screeching teenagers who reached the gates on the day that were arrested or given a stern talking to.
Where did the idea come from? Moreover, the biggest question, what are the US actually hiding?
In the deep dark depths of Facebook in June 2019, an event was created, titled “Storm Area 51, They Can’t Stop All of Us”, by user Matty Roberts. Roberts later cancelled the initial event after claiming the event was a joke – following the warnings from the U.S. Air Force. Upon becoming viral, the event became a reality when “millions” of people – according to Time magazine – were on-board to attend.
Whether they were pop-culture enthusiasts or poor mothers having to drive their 35-year-old children to the event, there were millions of anticipated attendees. But that wasn’t the case, in fact only around 100 people – according to a local Las Vegas newspaper – showed up to the gates on the day of the raid without the few thousand ‘Alienstock’ attendees.
Those who appeared seemed more interested in making a “quick buck” on merchandise from the boots of their cars. A reporter from Vice concluded “Some were there to party” and “Some were there to sell shirts or bumper stickers”. Could this “raid” be just another bit of old-fashioned American capitalism? Depends who you ask really. Yes there were the T-shirt merchants calling people “traveller” (probably) but - upon closer inspection – there were a lot of YouTubers there to shout some catchphrases like “clapping alien cheeks” (yes it’s what you imagine it is) before jumping back in their cars and heading home.
Even though this was more of an opportunity for independent sellers to make some cash, the U.S. Air Force still issued their warnings. Spokesperson Laura McAndrews from the Air Force said this, “We would discourage anyone from trying to come into the area where we train American armed forces”. In other words, they would exterminate anyone who crossed the gates - as if coming in peace was not their intention.
If the tinfoil hats and alien disguises were anything to go by, then it is fair to say, attendees were not messing around.
Pictures were later released on The Sun of a group of people “Naruto running” to get past the guards. The power of anime was not on their side as law-enforcement detained the teenagers (and middle-aged men of course) shortly after.
Despite our best efforts on this day, we may never know what secrets lie within the walls of Area 51, whether it be aliens, laser-weapons or even just your average training facility. Either way, the outcome of the raid was not the climax that we expected. No one saw any UFO’s, but the T-shirt sales were high. However, the biggest let down, I am not writing this sat next to a little green Martian.